It’s a blended family’s dream but unfortunately many which feel is hopelessly unachievable.
My name is Petria, I am the owner of Coco Rose Interiors and I have a blended family together with my husband, ex-husband and my ex-huband’s wife. We all share care of one very lucky girl, Rhiana to which she is sister to 5 siblings. We all work together to ensure Rhiana is raised with consistency in a loving and co-operative environment between the two homes. It’s actually possible!
This wasn’t always the case. It was a long toxic six years to reach such a point, in what used to be a very uncooperative environment. Both families would argue, exchange many unpleasantries and essentially hack through the divorced family life with no real progression towards effective communication or cooperation – the blender family.
So how is it possible that we now take joint holidays together?
Acceptance – Accept your situation at the start for what it is. Remove as much negative emotion as you can and keep focussed on creating a loving environment for your children. They are very intuitive and despite what you may feel towards your ex-partner, your child’s love for them remains unconditional.
Communication – Keep communication as open as possible between all parents. The other parent needs to know about their child’s day so they can attempt to maintain consistency in their home. This might need to be done in stages. If you argue regularly, start with texts or emails and progress towards phone calls. Believe it or not, we began with a communication book! Most importantly, without question, always make your child available to talk to the other parent.
Honesty – Keep the relationship open and honest. Don’t keep secrets between families. Children are horrible liars and you certainly don’t want them confused as to what they are or are not supposed to share.
Recognition – Recognise when your ex-partner does something nice and return the favour. Don’t make it your little win but an opportunity to give back. Even better, be the initiator! Perhaps there’s a weekend you’ll be busy catching up on housework, while your partner is planning a trip to the beach. Even though it’s your weekend, it’s clear your child would benefit more with their father.
Assurance – Don’t be too hard on your self if things get a little bumpy at times. It really is like riding a wave – sometimes you are really high, others will be really low. At the end of the day make sure you child knows that you love them and keep persevering. It will get better!
Forgiveness – Yep, this is a tough one, but so important. Like my last tip, it may come at the end, but it needs to happen. If you truly want to co-parent effectively you will have to learn to forgive at some stage.
About Petria Field
Coco Rose Interiors is inspired by a life once lived in Bali, Indonesia. I wanted to combine my passion for interior furniture and decor with my love for the relaxed tropical island lifestyle I lived in Bali. We present a luxe range of high quality, handmade bohemian style furniture for our customers. We aim to inspire a more natural and minimalistic way for people to design their homes and live their lives.