Q&A with Kirstie Stockx – Self Sabotage is Sabotaging me.

Q. Sometimes I sabotage myself… I have noticed that I am doing it when I have lots on my plate. I am trying to cut out sugar. This is going great until I have a sugar craving and I basically TALK myself into having a sandwich with Nutella ?
But do you know what happens next? I never ever eat just one piece ? Once I have started it tastes SO good and my mind comes up with new reasons to continue eating. I know it’s called self sabotage and it’s NOT helping me at all to achieve my health goals ? Please help me?


A. You are definitely not alone with this. Many people have trouble with self sabotage. When I work with mothers, I like to go back to the very beginning before the goal’s have been set and implement strategies that will reduce the chances of self sabotage and failure.


Below, I have included three activities that are to be completed BEFORE setting a goal like this, DURING the goal writing process, and AFTER the goal is established. These are just a small sample of some of the activities I use when working with mums around goal setting. These activities are designed to eliminate self sabotage and increase your chances of success.



1. BEFORE: You really need to get down and dirty with your core values and your core believes. Your core believes have been establishing themselves and growing since the day we were born. Think of them like a well worn walking track. We can force ourselves to go off track … but after a while we always fall back to this well worn track, the path of least resistance. I suggest deep diving into what your core values are, this will help you to identify if your goals (or the method to achieving your goals) is conflicting with your values.


Example: Hypothetically, let’s say you’re mum loves cooking yummy sweets and growing up she baked lots of beautiful cakes and it’s ingrained as part of your family traditions. You possibly believe that we shouldn’t restrict our food choices as it’s apart of living and connecting. This example… if not addressed is likely to lead to self sabotage.



2. DURING: When you set a goal like this one, it’s important to make it highly relatable to your top five core values. Write your top 5 values on a piece of papar and brainstorm how giving up sugar (or any goal) will positively influence these values.


Let’s say one on my core values includes FAMILY & KIDS:

By giving up sugar I’ll be much healthier, I’ll have much more energy. With the extra energy I’ll be a better parent. I can be more present in my children’s lives, I’ll be more fun and spend more time playing together. I’ll also be cooking and feeder my kids better quality meals.



3. AFTER: After you set a goal like this, you’ll need to implement strategies to help you maintain focus. One strategy I recommend is using affirmations. Write out some pretty cards reaffirming what you are striving for.


‘I have energy because I avoid sugar’
‘I have a stronger immune system because of the choices I make around food and drink’
‘I easily say no to sugary treats’
‘Less sugar helps me to be a better mum’

I hope you have found these three little tips helpful. If you would like some extra help around identifying your core values or writing your own personalised affirmations please contact me. I love working with mums that want to raise awesome kids and have a fabulous life simultaneously.

Read more about working with Kirstie Stockx

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